{"id":581,"date":"2026-09-12T03:40:10","date_gmt":"2026-09-12T03:40:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/12\/120-funny-crazy-quotes-that-will-make-you-laugh-and-think\/"},"modified":"2026-09-12T03:40:10","modified_gmt":"2026-09-12T03:40:10","slug":"120-funny-crazy-quotes-that-will-make-you-laugh-and-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/12\/120-funny-crazy-quotes-that-will-make-you-laugh-and-think\/","title":{"rendered":"120 Funny Crazy Quotes That Will Make You Laugh and Think"},"content":{"rendered":" \n

On some days life can feel a bit too serious or overwhelming. Or just plain dumb, weird or boring. If any of those things are the case for you today then this post will help you out. In it I want to share 120 of the most witty, unhinged, absurd and crazy funny quotes. I hope you\u2019ll find something here to make you laugh, release a bit of stress and help you to regain some of your sanity in this sometimes crazy world of ours.

Funny Crazy Quotes That Will Make You Laugh<\/h2> \u201cIn the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.\u201d
\u2013 Douglas Adams \u201cA computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.\u201d
\u2013 Emo Philips \u201cWhen I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.\u201d
\u2013 Will Rogers \u201cI\u2019d like to have a kid, but I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.\u201d
\u2013 Damien Fahey \u201cBefore you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.\u201d
\u2013 Jack Handey \u201cMy therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I\u2019ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.\u201d
\u2013 Dave Barry \u201cTell people there\u2019s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.\u201d
\u2013 George Carlin \u201cIt\u2019s always darkest before the dawn. So if you\u2019re going to steal your neighbor\u2019s newspaper, that\u2019s the time to do it.\u201d
\u2013 Navjot Singh Sidhu \u201cI came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn\u2019t a professional, the knife had butter on it.\u201d
\u2013 Rodney Dangerfield \u201cI saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.\u201d
\u2013 Jerry Seinfeld \u201cMy grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She\u2019s ninety-seven now, and we don\u2019t know where the hell she is.\u201d
\u2013 Ellen DeGeneres \u201cIf you think nobody cares if you\u2019re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.\u201d
\u2013 Earl Wilson \u201cBreaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can\u2019t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.\u201d
\u2013 Jerry Seinfeld \u201cI haven\u2019t spoken to my wife in years. I didn\u2019t want to interrupt her.\u201d
\u2013 Rodney Dangerfield \u201cPeople say, \u2018But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.\u2019 Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.\u201d
\u2013 Betty White \u201cHere\u2019s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like \u2018Psychic Wins Lottery\u2019?\u201d
\u2013 Jay Leno \u201cI grew up with six brothers. That\u2019s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.\u201d
\u2013 Bob Hope \u201cMy ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.\u201d
\u2013 Tina Fey \u201cI want my children to have all the things I couldn\u2019t afford. Then I want to move in with them.\u201d
\u2013 Phyllis Diller \u201cThey say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.\u201d
\u2013 Clint Eastwood \u201cThe best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.\u201d
\u2013 Bill Murray \u201cI\u2019m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.\u201d
\u2013 Michael Scott (from the TV-show The Office) \u201cNever under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.\u201d
\u2013 Dave Barry \u201cIf I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn\u2019t be more surprised.\u201d
\u2013 Clark Griswold (from the movie National Lampoon\u2019s Christmas Vacation) \u201cWhen my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they\u2019re finished, I climb out.\u201d
\u2013 Erma Bombeck

Funny Crazy Quotes That Will Make You Think<\/h2> \u201cThe difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.\u201d
\u2013 Albert Einstein \u201cDo not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.\u201d
\u2013 Elbert Hubbard \u201cLife would be tragic if it weren\u2019t funny.\u201d
\u2013 Stephen Hawking \u201cSome people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.\u201d
\u2013 Charles Bukowski \u201cThe difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.\u201d
\u2013 Tom Clancy \u201cInsanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.\u201d
\u2013 Rita Mae Brown \u201cBlessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.\u201d
\u2013 Groucho Marx \u201cThink of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.\u201d
\u2013 George Carlin \u201cWe are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.\u201d
\u2013 Kurt Vonnegut Jr. \u201cI have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.\u201d
\u2013 Stephen Hawking \u201cOpportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.\u201d
\u2013 Thomas A. Edison \u201cIf you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn\u2019t sit for a month.\u201d
\u2013 Theodore Roosevelt \u201cIt is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.\u201d
\u2013 Philip K. Dick \u201cAll it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That\u2019s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.\u201d
\u2013 Alan Moore \u201cThe trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.\u201d
\u2013 Terry Pratchett \u201cEverybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that\u2019s where it should stay.\u201d
\u2013 Christopher Hitchens \u201cEducation is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.\u201d
\u2013 Albert Einstein \u201cTrying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.\u201d
\u2013 George Carlin \u201cThe world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.\u201d
\u2013 Horace Walpole \u201cThe trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you\u2019re still a rat.\u201d
\u2013 Lily Tomlin \u201cA question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?\u201d
\u2013 Albert Einstein \u201cThe three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.\u201d
\u2013 Nassim Nicholas Taleb \u201cI may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.\u201d
\u2013 Douglas Adams \u201cCrazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn\u2019t understood.\u201d
\u2013 Wei Hui \u201cAll of humanity\u2019s problems stem from man\u2019s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.\u201d
\u2013 Blaise Pascal \u201cI have not failed. I\u2019ve just found 10,000 ways that won\u2019t work.\u201d
\u2013 Thomas Edison \u201cThere\u2019s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.\u201d
\u2013 Oscar Levant \u201cI became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.\u201d
\u2013 Edgar Allan Poe

Short, Funny and Crazy Quotes<\/h2> \u201cDon\u2019t Panic.\u201d
\u2013 Douglas Adams \u201cWhen you come to a fork in the road, take it.\u201d
\u2013 Yogi Berra \u201cNothing is real.\u201d
\u2013 John Lennon \u201cBuy the ticket, take the ride.\u201d
\u2013 Hunter S. Thompson \u201cI intend to live forever. So far, so good.\u201d
\u2013 Steven Wright \u201cI don\u2019t do drugs. I am drugs.\u201d
\u2013 Salvador Dal\u00ed \u201cBorn to lose. Live to win.\u201d
\u2013 Lemmy Kilmister \u201cMy fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.\u201d
\u2013 Mitch Hedberg \u201cI\u2019ll sleep when I\u2019m dead.\u201d
\u2013 Warren Zevon \u201cToo weird to live, too rare to die!\u201d
\u2013 Hunter S. Thompson \u201cIt ain\u2019t over till it\u2019s over.\u201d
\u2013 Yogi Berra \u201cGo ahead, make my day.\u201d
\u2013 Clint Eastwood \u201cTrust me. I\u2019m a genius.\u201d
\u2013 Eoin Colfer \u201cSane is boring.\u201d
\u2013 R.A. Salvatore \u201cWhen nothing is going right, go left.\u201d
\u2013 Unknown \u201cI\u2019m not for everyone. I\u2019m barely for me.\u201d
\u2013 Marc Maron \u201cBe yourself; everyone else is already taken.\u201d
\u2013 Oscar Wilde \u201cA day without laughter is a day wasted.\u201d
\u2013 Charlie Chaplin \u201cNever miss a good chance to shut up.\u201d
\u2013 Will Rogers \u201cI am not strange. I am just not normal.\u201d
\u2013 Salvador Dal\u00ed \u201cMusic is my religion.\u201d
\u2013 Jimi Hendrix \u201cSo long, and thanks for all the fish.\u201d
\u2013 Douglas Adams \u201cConfidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.\u201d
\u2013 Tina Fey \u201cI can resist everything except temptation.\u201d
\u2013 Oscar Wilde \u201cYou can\u2019t fix stupid.\u201d
\u2013 Ron White \u201cIf you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?\u201d
\u2013 George Carlin \u201cLife is hard. After all, it kills you.\u201d
\u2013 Katharine Hepburn \u201cInstant gratification takes too long.\u201d
\u2013 Carrie Fisher \u201cI\u2019m addicted to placebos.\u201d
\u2013 Steven Wright \u201cI\u2019m writing a book. I\u2019ve got the page numbers done.\u201d
\u2013 Steven Wright

Weird and Witty Quotes and Sayings<\/h2> \u201cIf I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn\u2019t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn\u2019t be. And what it wouldn\u2019t be, it would. You see?\u201d
\u2013 Lewis Carroll \u201cWe never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.\u201d
\u2013 Bryan White \u201cThe only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.\u201d
\u2013 Jack Kerouac \u201cKnowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.\u201d
\u2013 Miles Kington \u201cThere is only one difference between a madman and myself. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.\u201d
\u2013 Salvador Dal\u00ed \u201cA mind is like a parachute. It doesn\u2019t work if it is not open.\u201d
\u2013 Frank Zappa \u201cClothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.\u201d
\u2013 Mark Twain \u201cI think it would be great to be born on Earth and to die on Mars. Just hopefully not at the point of impact.\u201d
\u2013 Elon Musk \u201cThere is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.\u201d
\u2013 Douglas Adams \u201cKnowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.\u201d
\u2013 Bill Murray \u201cPeople say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.\u201d
\u2013 A. A. Milne \u201cSometimes a scream is better than a thesis.\u201d
\u2013 Ralph Waldo Emerson \u201cI can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don\u2019t even invite me.\u201d
\u2013 Dave Barry \u201cThe surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.\u201d
\u2013 Bill Watterson \u201cI\u2019m sick of following my dreams, man. I\u2019m just going to ask where they\u2019re going and hook up with \u2019em later.\u201d
\u2013 Mitch Hedberg \u201cIf at first you don\u2019t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.\u201d
\u2013 Steven Wright \u201cWisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.\u201d
\u2013 Terry Pratchett \u201cIf at first you don\u2019t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There\u2019s no point in being a damn fool about it.\u201d
\u2013 W. C. Fields

Hilarious and Crazy Quotes<\/h2> \u201cI refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.\u201d
\u2013 Groucho Marx \u201cIf this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.\u201d
\u2013 Abraham Lincoln \u201cYou know you\u2019re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you\u2019re down there.\u201d
\u2013 George Burns \u201cI am so clever that sometimes I don\u2019t understand a single word of what I am saying.\u201d
\u2013 Oscar Wilde \u201cWhy do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?\u201d
\u2013 Robin Williams \u201cBehind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.\u201d
\u2013 Jim Carrey \u201cI used to be indecisive, but now I\u2019m not so sure.\u201d
\u2013 Tommy Cooper \u201cAs you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can\u2019t remember the other two.\u201d
\u2013 Sir Norman Wisdom \u201cAlways borrow money from a pessimist. They won\u2019t expect it back.\u201d
\u2013 Oscar Wilde \u201cI don\u2019t believe in astrology; I\u2019m a Sagittarius and we\u2019re skeptical.\u201d
\u2013 Arthur C. Clarke \u201cI never forget a face \u2013 but in your case, I\u2019ll be glad to make an exception.\u201d
\u2013 Groucho Marx \u201cWhy is there so much month left at the end of the money?\u201d
\u2013 John Barrymore \u201cBefore you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.\u201d
\u2013 Will Ferrell \u201cInflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.\u201d
\u2013 Sam Ewing \u201cI\u2019m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.\u201d
\u2013 Cheshire Cat (from the book Alice in Wonderland) \u201cSomeone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: \u2018How to Build a Boat.’\u201d
\u2013 Steven Wright \u201cI don\u2019t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.\u201d
\u2013 Samuel Goldwyn \u201cIf you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.\u201d
\u2013 Dalai Lama \u201cIf you can\u2019t convince them, confuse them.\u201d
\u2013 Harry S. Truman Want more laughs?<\/strong> Then check out these hilarious quotes about life<\/a>, the funny quotes about love<\/a> here and also these hilarious work quotes<\/a>. <\/div><\/div><\/div><\/p>\n \n \n

Fuente: Enlace original<\/a><\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On some days life can feel a bit too serious or overwhelming. Or just plain dumb, weird or boring. If any of those things are the case for you today then this post will help you out. In it I want to share 120 of the most witty, unhinged, absurd and crazy funny quotes. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":580,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pensamiento_profundo"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/581","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=581"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/581\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/580"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=581"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=581"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=581"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}