{"id":532,"date":"2026-09-04T03:14:09","date_gmt":"2026-09-04T03:14:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/04\/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser-7-powerful-habits\/"},"modified":"2026-09-04T03:14:09","modified_gmt":"2026-09-04T03:14:09","slug":"how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser-7-powerful-habits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/04\/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser-7-powerful-habits\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 7 Powerful Habits"},"content":{"rendered":" \n                                        <p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><div class=\"extracted-content\"><div id=\"readability-page-1\" class=\"page\"><div itemprop=\"articleBody\">  \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.\u201d<br> <strong>Eleanor Roosevelt<\/strong> \u201cWhen you say \u201cyes\u201d to others, make sure you aren\u2019t saying \u201cno\u201d to yourself.\u201d<br> <strong>Paulo Coehlo<\/strong> When you get stuck in the habit of being a people pleaser then that can have a sneaky and negative effect. Not only on you but also on the people around you. Because as you try to please the other people in your life: <ul> <li><strong>You put on a mask and try to guess what to do<\/strong> while getting anxious and stressed.<\/li> <li><strong>You sometimes feel taken advantage off by others<\/strong> who use your people pleasing habit and you often feel out of tune with what you yourself deep down want.<\/li> <li><strong>It can also have an unintended effect on other people<\/strong> as they may see through your mask, start to feel your inner discomfort and stress themselves and get confused or upset because they sense you are not being honest and straightforward with them.<\/li> <\/ul> So trying to please others pretty much all the time is often an even worse choice that one may at first think. But how can you change this behavior and stop being a people pleaser? This week I\u2019d like to share 7 powerful insights and habits that have helped me with that. <strong>1. Realize that with some people it isn\u2019t about you and what you do (no matter what you do).<\/strong> Some people just can\u2019t be pleased. No matter what you do. Because it\u2019s not about what you do or do not do. It\u2019s about him or her. About how she\u2019s having a bad month, a sick pet or doesn\u2019t have a good chemistry with you. Or about him being in an unhappy marriage, in too much debt or having a tooth ache that just won\u2019t stop. By realizing this and how you in the end can\u2019t get everyone to like you or avoid conflict no matter what you do you can start to let go of this ineffective and damaging habit. <strong>2. Learn how to say no.<\/strong> When you like to please then it\u2019s of course hard to say no. But it is vital for you own happiness, stress-levels and for living the life you truly want. Here are 5 things that have made it easier for me to say no more often: <strong>Disarm and state your need.<\/strong> It\u2019s easier for people to accept your no if you disarm them first. Do that by, for instance, saying that you\u2019re flattered or that you appreciate the kind offer. Then add that you, for example, simply don\u2019t have the time for doing what they want. <strong>If they\u2019re pushy, add how you feel.<\/strong> Say that you don\u2019t feel that this offer is a good fit for your life right now. Or that you feel overwhelmed and very busy and so you cannot do whatever they want. Telling someone how you honestly feel can help them to understand your side of the issue better. And it\u2019s also a lot harder to argue with how you feel rather than what you think. <strong>Help out a bit.<\/strong> If possible, finish your reply with recommending someone that you think could help out or would be a better fit for what they need.&nbsp; I do this quite often when I feel I lack the knowledge or experience that a reader or a friend is looking for. <strong>Remind yourself why it is important to sometimes say no: You teach people by how you behave.<\/strong> They learn about you and your boundaries from your behavior. So if you stand up for yourself and say no and are assertive about what you don\u2019t want then people will start to pick up on that. And over time you\u2019ll encounter fewer and fewer situations where someone tries to be pushy or steamroll you. <strong>It\u2019s OK to feel a bit guilty about saying no (but you don\u2019t have to act on it).<\/strong> Just feel it and be with that feeling for a while. But at the same time know that it doesn\u2019t mean that you have to act on it and say yes or do what they want you to do. <strong>3. Reminder: People don\u2019t really care that much about what you say or do.<\/strong> Holding yourself back in life and trying to act in a way that is pleasing to others can, in my experience, to a large part come from a belief that people care a great deal about what you say or do. But the truth is that while you may be the main character in your own life and head you\u2019re not that in other people\u2019s lives. Because here\u2019s the thing: people have their hands full with thinking and worrying about their own lives. They have their heads full with thoughts about their kids, career, pets, hobbies, dreams and worries or thoughts about what others may think of them. This realization can make you feel less important. But it can also set you free. <strong>4. Learn how to handle criticism and verbal lash outs (and the fear of that).<\/strong> Tip #1 in this article is one thing that\u2019ll help you to handle criticism and the fear of it. Because sometimes it\u2019s simply about the other person and his or her situation in life right now and not about what you did or did not do. A few more things that help me to handle negative or critical messages are: <strong>Wait before you reply.<\/strong> Take a couple of deep breaths in a conversation or a few minutes if you\u2019re in front of your inbox. By doing so you\u2019ll reduce the risk of lashing out yourself or making a mistake. Calming yourself down a bit before replying is pretty much always a good idea. <strong>Remember: you can let it go.<\/strong> You don\u2019t have to reply to all the negative messages you may get via email, social media or in real life. You can just say nothing, let it go and move on. This does of course not work in every situation but it\u2019s important to remember that you from time to time do have this option. <strong>It\u2019s OK to disagree.<\/strong> This took me time to really get. Because I wanted to get people to my side. To make someone see things the way I did. But it\u2019s also OK to simply have different opinions about things. And to leave it at that. I found that life became lighter and simpler when I started to accept this idea and perspective. <strong>5. Set boundaries for yourself.<\/strong> If you say no to yourself, if you set a few firm boundaries for yourself then it will over time become easier to do the same towards other people too. And these boundaries can also help you to focus better on what matters the most to you. A couple of my daily ones that have helped me with both of those things are: <ul> <li><strong>A start-time and a stop-time for work.<\/strong> I don\u2019t work before 8 in the morning and my work computer is shut off \u2013 at the latest \u2013 at 7 in the evening.<\/li> <li><strong>Work in a no-distraction zone.<\/strong> I keep email notifications and messaging programs off. And my smart phone is on silent mode at the other end of our home.<\/li> <li><strong>Only check email once a day.<\/strong> Otherwise it\u2019s easy for me to lose focus and to have too many thoughts swirling around in my mind while working.<\/li> <\/ul> <strong>6. Strengthen your self-esteem.<\/strong> Why\u2019s this important? Well, with <a href=\"https:\/\/premium.positivityblog.com\/self-esteem-course\/\">a self-esteem toolbox filled with helpful habits<\/a>&nbsp;you\u2019ll value yourself and therefore your time and energy more and so it\u2019s becomes more natural to say no when you need to. And criticism and negative words will bounce off of you more easily and often. Plus, you\u2019ll be less concerned about getting everyone else to like you all the time. Because now you like and respect yourself more and your dependency upon what others may think or say drops drastically. <strong>7. Keep your focus on what YOU want out of your life.<\/strong> If you know what\u2019s most important to you and you keep your focus on that each day then you\u2019ll naturally start to say no and stop being so people pleasing. Because now your energy and time is mostly focused on your needs and wants. You\u2019re not just drifting along anymore without a clear focus (which is great because when you lack that then it\u2019s easy to fall into the trap of just going along with what someone else wants). So how do you do this practically? Well, fine-tuning what you deep down want might take some time. But a good start is this\u2026 <strong>Step 1: Ask yourself: what\u2019s the top 3 most important things in my life right now?<\/strong> It could be your small business. Your family. Your career, health, dog, photography hobby, soccer, improving your social life or simplifying your home. Or something else. <strong>Step 2: Create 1-3 reminders.<\/strong> Write down your top 3 most important things on a small piece of paper. And put it on your bedside table so you see it first thing every morning. You can also create 1-2 more notes with the same answers to for instance put on your fridge and in your workspace. An effective alternative to paper notes is to use a reminder app on your smart phone (I use the free Google Keep app for my reminders every day).&nbsp; These two simple steps have helped me a lot to keep my priorities straight and to remind myself of them every day so I don\u2019t start to drift too much from what matters the most to me. <\/div><\/div><\/div><\/p>\n                                        \n                                        \n                                        <p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fuente: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.positivityblog.com\/stop-being-people-pleaser\/\">Enlace original<\/a><\/p>\n                                        ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.\u201d Eleanor Roosevelt \u201cWhen you say \u201cyes\u201d to others, make sure you aren\u2019t saying \u201cno\u201d to yourself.\u201d Paulo Coehlo When you get stuck in the habit of being a people pleaser then that can have a sneaky and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":531,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-532","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pensamiento_profundo"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=532"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=532"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=532"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/construirfuturo.tucumandevelopers.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=532"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}